Whether you love it or hate it, small talk is an essential part of team building. But chit-chat can be hard in a remote setting since there are certain rules attached to it. While these rules can be a bit overwhelming, they ensure respectful and efficient communication.
The last thing you want is to come off as rude toward your colleagues by not respecting their availability or spamming them with one-line messages. Here are all the dos and don’ts of small talk when working remotely.
The Do’s of Small Talk in Remote Work
Here are some best practices for engaging in small talk in a remote work chat group:
Find the Right Way to Start a Conversation
There are various ways you can start a conversation with your work colleagues. For instance, most remote work communication platforms show when a new person is added to the group. This is a great opportunity for you to make the new employee feel welcomed. You can simply tag them and add a warm welcome message.
You can also reach out to them via private message. Introduce yourself and tell them that you’re available if they need help with anything. You can follow up with some friendly questions to strike up a connection if you feel the new colleague is interested.
If you’re the one who’s recently onboarded, making small talk with existing team members can be a great way toget to know your remote team in a new job. Consider privately replying to their public threads and sharing your thoughts on the topic. This can be a great way to initiate a connection.
But it’s essential that you gauge the appropriateness of the chat. Not everyone is comfortable with private messaging. So, consider backing off if you feel the other person isn’t interested.
Talk About Current Events
It is common practice to talk about current events with your work colleagues. This goes for remote work small talk too. you may bring up topics like sports or recent developments in the entertainment industry. Be sure to always talk in a non-patronizing way when explaining news or your opinion on something. You should also be respectful of the other’s opinions.
Most communication platforms let you share media. So, consider attaching the source of the news in the form of a video, image, or internet link. This way, your colleagues can view it themselves and share their thoughts with you.
Platforms like Discord even let youshare your smartphone screenwith another user. This way, you can watch the media together and strike up a dialogue about it.
Strike a Balance Between Topics
Just like in an office setting, remote work small talk between colleagues should strike a balance between topics. This can be hard in online conversations, since they lack social cues and body language. So, you’re able to end up talking a bit too much about yourself and coming off as rude without even realizing it.
Consider embracing the back-and-forth conversation flow. Don’t continuously send messages detailing your own opinions without giving your colleagues the time to respond.
Rather, say what you have to say, and then wait. Let your colleague give their opinions, even if it takes some time for them to respond. Keep this flow going to ensure a balance between topics, and that neither party is overbearing in the conversation.
Make Casual Check-Ins
Since you don’t get to see your work friends daily when working remotely, it is a good idea to make regular check-ins. Just drop a short text saying hello and inquire about how they are doing.
If you’d like the check-in to evolve into a conversation, consider striking up a dialogue. This could be a simple, “Did you see the new Marvel movie?”, or “You won’t believe what happened when I went to the mall last week!”.
If your colleague is interested and has the time to talk, they will respond with mutual excitement. If not, then that is alright, too. You shouldn’t take it personally. Always remember to respect their priorities and boundaries.
Respect the Other’s Availability
Unless your organization has a dedicated reporting time frame, it’s likely that your remote colleagues won’t always be at their workstations, even during day hours. This is why you should pay close attention to the availability of your co-workers before striking up a conversation with them.
There are multiple ways you may gauge if your team member is available. The simplest way is to check their availability status on the chat platform your company uses. Your colleague will likely set their status to “Do Not Disturb” if they’re not available to chat.
If your organization usestime zone converters, you can also use them to deduce the availability of your overseas colleagues. If none of these methods can be used, you can ask them directly by messaging something like, “Hey, are you available? I wanted to talk about something.”
Communication platforms, like Slack, also let you ping other users even if their notifications are turned off. Be sure to never use this feature unless the matter is of utmost importance and urgency.
The Don’ts of Remote Small Talk
Here are the things you should steer clear away from when making small talk with your remote team:
Don’t Talk About Off-Limit Topics
The biggest no-no of remote work small talk is to discuss controversial or instigating topics. You don’t want a row with a colleague over something that you shouldn’t have been talking about in the first place.
Off-limit topics include religion, money, political affiliations, and intimate information. Inappropriate jokes or statements should also never be a part of your conversations.
It isn’t a good idea to talk about sensitive subjects, either, such as nationalism and conspiracy theories. verify that any videos, images, or other media you share with your colleagues are also appropriate and safe for work.
Don’t Send Multiple One-Line Messages
Be sure to steer clear away from sending multiple one-line messages to your co-worker when making small talk. Doing so makes it difficult for your colleagues to figure out when you are done talking, and they may respond without having heard all that you have to say.
Each one-line message also creates a separate ping and notification. This can be off-putting for your team members. So, instead of spamming multiple messages, take your time and write out everything you want to say in one block of text.
If you want to add something after sending the message, consider either editing the initial message or waiting for a response and then saying something additional. By doing this, you may avoid confusing and annoying your co-workers.
Don’t Take the Delays Personally
When working remotely, don’t expect your colleagues to reply to your messages instantly, especially if these messages are nothing but chit-chat. They may be in a meeting, working on a project, or busy with something else at home.
Don’t take this delay personally. Rather wait for their reply. If you haven’t gotten a reply for a full two days, you may send a follow-up. A follow-up may not be a good idea though if you aren’t that close with the colleague you’re chatting with.
If you don’t get a reply even after a follow-up, then you should just wait since they probably don’t want to engage in small talk right now. Be patient and understanding. Your co-worker will probably reply whenever they’re ready.
Don’t End the Conversation Abruptly
You shouldn’t wake up and leave a conversation when working remotely, even if the chat is simply idle talk. Your colleagues could be waiting for a reply, and if they never get it, it may come off as rude. So, if you suddenly have to leave mid-conversation, consider conveying this in the conversation.
A simple “Be right back” would suffice if you are leaving for a short time. If you are leaving for longer, then tell them how long you are going away for. You can also tell them the reason for leaving the chat if it is appropriate to do so.
Making Small Talk in Remote Work Has Its Rules
Small talk, when working remotely, is a bit different from regular office chit-chat. But it’s easy to master if you know what its dos and don’ts are.
Feel free to start up conversations with new people in the team and discuss things you’re both interested in. However, avoid controversial topics and don’t take delayed replies personally.
Small talk may seem unnecessary sometimes, but if done correctly, it can be a great way to initiate work friendships. These connections are essential in a remote setting where it’s easy to feel lonely.
